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Time was when I thought it would be enough to do everything just to see other people happy, no matter what would that mean for me. I thought, just to see other peolpe happy, to be the person who made them happy is the biggest luck I could get. But I said to myself I'm doomed to be unhappy. I put on my daily facade. My smile was only an illusion. Everyone thought I was happy, but I wasn't. Guilty for everything - no matter what happened. I blamed me for everything just to wash the pain away... . I cried every day. Sometimes the whole night and at the same time I was listening to music. I didn't want to hear me cry... . I thought about myself as an mistake. The heaviest mistake in the whole system and a mistake is not allowed to exist... . I hurt myself. After that I felt a little bit better for a few hours. I lost everyone and stand alone. I was screaming for help - no one heared me, they ignored me and didn't understand me. The only way was to kill myself or to life ever alone. Well, I never wanted to entrust somebody my whole live again...
There was no hope left, but then I met someone. I was familiar with him from the start. I thought he would unterstand me and he does. I wanted to be close to him... . He was the only one who could help me and he helped me do break the cycle... He felt the same way as myself. He's similar to me. I wanted to be happy and finally I was allowed to. After other problematic things I've told him I want to be together with him.
Now we are together about 2 months and want to be together forever - want to be happy. We knew us about 3 months, not really long I know, but it's like we knew us our whole live, lost us and found us again. He's the one I searched for. The perfect person for me.
I'll never let him go. I love him more than I can say and I'm very happy with him <!>

. . . and so I realized that happiness exists

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→ I think there a many mistakes, so sorry for the bad english x.x